


love you when you need me

by weatheredlaw



Series: all the way across the universe [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: “Don't be afraid,” he said. “And don't be sad.”Taako shook.“I'm not afraid to die.”





	love you when you need me

**Author's Note:**

> anyway at some point i'll stop writing about people in this show dying but i guess not today. shout out to the magcretia discord for enabling me. i hate all of you.

Taako was _sick._

He was, according to Kravitz, running a fever comparable to the certain parts of the Astral Plane, and shivering like mad. Kravitz checked his temperature one last time and announced, “You're going to Magnus's,” before scooping him up in his arms and taking them there. Taako didn't even have the energy to whine about it.

Magnus was inside, singing to himself and flipping eggs in a skillet while Angus read aloud to him from one of his text books.

“Hello, sirs!”

Magnus looked up, took in the scene and immediately gestured for Kravitz to follow him upstairs. “I knew he was coming down with something. Hackin' and coughin' all over the place the other day.

“You've been sick for _days?_ ” Kravitz asked.

Taako smiled sheepishly. “You were on a work trip.”

“If you die--”

“ _Babe._ It's me. _Taako._ I'm gonna live for pretty much _ever_.”

“Not if you catch pneumonia,” Magnus muttered, and pulled the blankets back. Taako realized this was _his_ room specifically, the one Magnus had designated as his own. It sent an unwanted and, frankly, unnecessary shiver through him. The sentiment was achingly sweet. “He'll be okay here.”

“I don't think he's eaten for a few days—”

“ _Do not leave me here with his cooking_.” Taako sat upright, sending himself into a fit of coughing. Kravitz put a hand on his shoulder.

“I'm sure it's fine.”

“I'm not eating _grilled cheese_ , you animals.”

“I'll make you something nice,” Magnus said, and gave him a smile that, frankly, set Taako's teeth on edge. He turned and headed back downstairs.

Kravitz sighed. “You'll do better here. Magnus is always home, he'll call me if something goes wrong.”

“Where are _you_ going?”

“You know I have to work. She asked for me.” Taako let Kravitz ease him back against the pillows. “Please get some rest, my love. _Please._ ”

“As long as you promise to take a break. You know, if it's a long one.”

Kravitz smiled and bent down to kiss Taako's forehead. “I'll be back before you know it.”

“Stay though? Until...until I fall asleep.” He hated the way he sounded – nasally and ill and _pathetic._ “Or not. Whatever, it's your life.”

“I'll lay here with you,” Kravitz murmured, and settled next to him. Taako turned so his back was flush with Kravitz's chest and closed his eyes. He feel asleep feeling the cool grip of another's hands in his own. When he woke, he was by himself.

 

* * *

 

Something smelled... _amazing._ Taako was in and out of sleep. Sometimes he'd catch Magnus bringing up a cup of tea for him, in case he woke. He'd change it out every so often. A little after noon, Taako figured he'd spent enough time being sick and pitiful in bed, and decided to be sick and pitiful downstairs. He wandered into the kitchen and found Magnus rolling dough out on the kitchen table.

“...What are you doing?”

Magnus looked up and grinned. “Making chicken and dumplings. It's a good sick food, I hope you're hungry.”

Taako lowered himself into a kitchen chair, reaching out to drag his thumb through some of the flour that had scattered its way to his end. “You can't cook, Mags.”

“I can.”

“ _No._ I've know you for over a hundred years. _You_ cannot cook.”

Magnus stopped rolling the dough and considered him. It was a look Taako didn't often _get_ from Magnus. One that sort of sized him up, saw right through him. It was one that he suspected Governor Kalen had been on the receiving end of. It was the one Magnus gave to Lucas – there was nothing _cruel_ about it. It was just the look of a man who _knew_ the person in front of him

Taako looked away.

“I _can_ cook,” he said, and went back to rolling out the dough. He paused. “...Julia taught me.”

The feeling of complete and utter despair _immediately_ took him. Taako floundered at the table, wondered if he was well enough to teleport himself home and _never_ come back.

“Stop doing that,” Magnus said quietly.

“...What?”

“ _That._ That thing where you feel sorry for me, or whatever.” He looked up. “Julia's dead and I can't do anything about it. She's gone, and all I've got left is...is this--” He pulled the chain with her wedding ring out from under his shirt. “--and this.” He pointed to the mess of flour and dough on the table. “If I don't...start remembering the things I learned from her, I'm scared I'll forget them. I don't...I don't ever want to forget again, Taako.”

Taako nodded. “I get you.” He leaned forward and drew some sygils in the flour. They didn't do anything important – the music Magnus was playing got a little louder, the room got a little warmer. He looked up at Magnus. “So tell me about it. The recipe.”

“Oh! Well, I took one of the chickens out of the yard, it's in that big pot right now--”

“No, I mean...tell me the story. Like...like when did she make it?”

Magnus rolled a little slower and smiled. “Cold days,” he said. “And not just enough for us. She'd make enough for the whole street. We had this big table, a lot like this one. Me and her dad made it.” He smacked the rolling pin in his hand. “She had something like this, too. Roll out dough all morning. It was a damn process, is what it was, but--” He grinned. “Worth it.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Yeah, she just...had this way, you know? Everything she touched was incredible. She made these beautiful dresses. She could fix _anything_. We built our house together. She was an artist, you know? Designed these stained glass windows and everything.” Magnus closed his eyes. “I can...shit, it sounds so weird, but...when I really focus, I can _smell_ her. I can hear her. I can--” He stopped. His cheeks were slick with tears and he quickly wiped them away.

“Sorry,” Taako said quickly. “I didn't mean--”

“If I don't talk about her, Taako, then what was the point of her ever being alive?” Magnus shook his head. “I punished myself enough. I've thought about every way that day could have happened. The cup--” He froze. “Forget it.”

“No, what?”

Magnus sighed. “The cup... _my cup_ \--”

“That's what it offered you.” Magnus nodded. “And you...didn't take it.”

“No.” Magnus took a knife from the block and began cutting the dough into strips. “That's not how it works, Taako. That's not how any of this is supposed to work.”

 

* * *

 

Taako realized after that day – he was relearning his entire family.

Merle's life after the _Starblaster_ was a complete mystery to Taako's. Magnus's entire existence after their years on the ship was a block of time that Taako could probably _never_ comprehend. He loved Kravitz, so he could empathize with Magnus about a handful of things – the way it felt when someone else touched your hair, or when they kissed your neck, or when they _said your name_ –

But every love story was different. And Taako realized that Magnus was trying to tell his, that he _wanted_ people to know, wanted people to understand what he'd had because what he'd had was unique to him. What he'd had was huge and important and almost _impossible_ – and he wanted to talk about it.

So he cooked the food Julia had taught him to cook.

And he played the music she'd taught him to play.

“Mags are you...making a guitar?” Taako came over one afternoon to work with Angus on some spells and found Magnus on the porch sanding the wood of an instrument.

“Yeah!” he said brightly. “I made one ages ago, but it got burnt up.” He knocked on the shell of it. “Sounds good, right?”

“Wouldn't know.”

“Just gotta string it up.” He reached between his feet and pulled out a bag of chords.

“Where'd you learn to play?”

“Julia taught me.” He looked up and grinned. “I told you, everything she touched.”

“Yeah, I'm gathering that.” Taako settled onto the top step of the porch and watched while he waited for Angus to come home. Magnus chatted idly while he worked. About making his first guitar years ago, and how he and Julia would play together. He had a song, he said, that was important, but he couldn't remember when they say it.

“Or why,” he said quietly. “It's a good one--”

Taako felt his stomach knot itself without warning.

“--but I just...can't remember. It's weird.”

“Yeah, life's like that.”

Magnus shrugged. “Doesn't matter.” He looked up as Angus came running up the hill, backpack slung over one shoulder, grinning madly. “Hey kiddo!”

“ _Dad._ You won't believe it, Lucas asked me to teach a seminar course!”

“That's pretty cool.”

“Right? Hey, Taako! I just need to change and eat.”

Taako nodded. “Sure thing, dude.” He gave him knuckles and Angus ran inside. “He calls you dad, huh?”

“When he feels like it. Never asked him to. Depends on how he's feeling.” Magnus sniffed. “Had a fight last week.”

“You and Angus?” Magnus nodded. “About what?”

“Somethin' stupid. I just get...I get so _mad_ sometimes, you know?” Magnus set the guitar down. His hands were shaking. “I yelled at Lucretia a few weeks ago.”

“ _You_ did?” He nodded again. “Shit, Mags.”

“It all just...sits there, you know? And after a while it just comes out. And Angus was already mad and he was yelling and so I just...yelled back. I don't know what came over me. I don't know what _happens_ when I get like that--”

“Magnus--”

“Sometimes it all just _rushes in_. It's like it's trying to pull me under or something and I can't..fight it.”

“You don't have to fight everything.”

“Well we can't all just pretend nothing's wrong,” he snapped. Taako flinched. “...Sorry. _Sorry._ ”

“No, it's okay. I...do that. You're right.”

Magnus shook his head. “Kravitz was here the other day and he...asked if I was okay. Couldn't stop laughing, like, I love that guy? But what a stupid _fucking_ question. Like at what point in _any_ of this did it seem like I was okay? That you or Merle or _Angus_ was okay? We're all just...trying to get through it. Fuck, if we didn't have each other--”

“ _I'm ready!_ ” Angus came barreling out of the house and nearly went head first over the steps before Magnus caught him with one steady arm. He pushed his glasses up his nose and grinned. “I'm ready.”

 

* * *

 

After a while, Taako and Magnus started cooking together. It was like a language they'd learned, and they could do it almost completely silently. Taako could come over and they could just...do this together, _for_ one another. They made the cake that was served at Magnus's fiftieth birthday, even though Taako had sworn to Kravitz he wasn't even going to bother leaving the house that day.

“You can't do this to him. He's your brother.”

“He can get old without me. Big, dumb animal.”

Kravitz sighed. “Is that what this is about, hm? Magnus getting old?”

“...Maybe.” He leaned into Kravitz, who kissed his temple. “S'not fair.”

“You had a _hundred years_ together--”

“I don't care.”

“Taako...I know this is hard to accept. But you knew this was coming.” Kravitz pulled him closer. “Just...enjoy today. Magnus is happy. He's not afraid to get old.” He cupped Taako's face and stroked a thumb over his brow. “Magnus isn't afraid to die.”

That struck a chord in him. He'd never considered that it was something to _fear_ – they'd done it dozens of times. They'd faced the Hunger together. What was death but just another task ahead of them? And for Taako, it was centuries away.

For Magnus, it was just...years.

Taako went to the party, walked right up to Magnus and held him tight.

“Whoa, _whoa_ \--”

“I love you.”

“Taako...” He felt Magnus hold him back, heard a little huff of laughter in his ear. “I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

“ _Dad's sick. Could you go by the house and check on him?_ ”

Taako shifted the stone to his other ear. “Ango, kid--”

“I'm fuckin' _swamped_.”

“Okay, first off, _language. Enunciate._ ”

“I am _fucking_ swamped.”

“Better. Second, what's wrong with him?”

“I don't know, but he was being very _Magnus_ about everything this morning and acting like he was fine.”

“He's fifty-five, Angus. He's officially a grumpy old man.”

“Could you just go check on him?”

Taako sighed. “ _Yes_ , alright.” He finished his own work and headed to the house. Sure enough, Magnus was in bed, which was only a little unsettling. Taako felt his forehead. Magnus shifted.

“Taako?”

“You're fucking on _fire_ , Mags.”

“Thanks, you're lookin' good, too.”

Taako sighed. “Yeah, you're definitely sick.”

“I'm _fi--_ ” He cut himself off with a wet, ugly cough. Taako patted his shoulder.

“I'll go make you some soup.”

Downstairs, Taako looked around until he found the little wooden box of recipes that Magnus had once kept hidden away. Julia had a recipe for a very rich chicken soup that Magnus loved and always made for Angus when he was feeling under the weather, even these days. By the time it was cooking on the stove, Magnus had wandered down stairs, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

“Taako?”

“Hey, you're up.” He helped him sit.

“I feel like hell.”

“You look like it, too.”

“Thanks.”

Taako laughed and let his hand linger on the back of Magnus's neck. His fever was still up. He went to the cabinet and got down a few things for a quick tea to bring it down.

They sat at the table that afternoon, drinking tea and eating soup. One of the older dogs wandered in from outside and laid down at Magnus's feet, tail thumping on the wooden floor every so often. Magnus absently scratched behind her ears, looking down.

“That's Marigold, right?” Magnus nodded. “She's beautiful.”

“She wound up staying here,” Magnus said quietly. “Had to retire early. Service work wasn't her calling. All her babies went to good families, though, didn't they sweetheart?” Magnolia's ears picked up and she put her heavy paws in Magnus's lap. “You miss them I bet, don't you?” She licked his face and he laughed. “Such a good girl.” He looked at Taako. “She doesn't have much time left. Probably a year.”

Taako swallowed. Magnus had a ritual for the dogs when it was their time. Somewhere along the line, Barry had become quite adept at knowing when the dogs were going to go. He'd come by and let Magnus know, and they'd spend the day together, giving the dog the best day. Sometimes there'd be a lot of them – sometimes just Magnus and Barry. Whatever it was, whoever was there – it was a special thing.

He wondered if Kravitz would tell him when Magnus's time came up.

He wondered if Magnus would just...know, like he knew with the dogs.

Taako reached over and took Magnus's hand without thinking. Magnus looked up, surprised, but he must have seen the look in Taako's eyes. He took Taako's hand in both of his and smiled.

“Don't be afraid,” he said. “And don't be sad.”

Taako shook.

“I'm not afraid to die.”

 

* * *

 

By his bedside, Taako reached out and brushed the white hair from Magnus's forehead and smiled. “Tell me a Julia story,” he murmured, and Magnus rolled over.

“Did I tell you about the time she hit me with a rolling pin?”

Taako laughed. He'd heard this one, but that wasn't really the point. “No,” he said quietly. “Tell me.”

And Magnus smiled wide and told him the story about how she'd been making pies all morning for the Harvest Festival, and Magnus had snuck up behind her, only to get a rolling pin straight to the head. “Knock me right out,” he said. “Woke up and she was kissing me all over, _crying._ Scared the living daylights out of her, twice in two minutes.”

“She was a fighter.”

“She was.” Magnus closed his eyes. “She really was.”

 

* * *

 

Missing Magnus became like a language Taako spoke on his own. It stung in his chest and would hold on tight until he did something about it, like whatever bit of himself Magnus had left behind wouldn't _let_ Taako pretend he wasn't feeling this.

He'd get out the box of recipes and sort through them, pick out his favorite, and make it every night for a week. Kravitz understood when he came home and there were dumplings on the table, or strawberry-rhubarb pies on the windowsill that Taako was working through something, that he was trying to reach over to the other side to let Magnus know – he was not forgotten.

And he'd pick up the guitar Magnus had taught him to play and pluck a few chords before finally strumming the tune that had been passed from Julia, to Magnus – and finally to Taako. Just a little thing – _love you tenderly, love you sweetly, that's what I'll do, that's what I'll do_ – and it calmed him.

“Can he hear, you think?”

“Maybe.” Kravitz kissed the top of his head. “I can...I can ask.”

Taako looked up sharply. “He's happy, right?”

“Yes, Taako.” Kravitz cupped his chin and bent to kiss him. “Magnus is very happy.”

Taako gripped Kravitz's shirt and held him close. “Promise?” he whispered.

“Yes, my love.” He took the guitar and put it in the corner before crawling into Taako's lap and kissing him again. “ _Promise._ ”

 

**Author's Note:**

> title and the lyrics taako plays are from "my baby" by julia stone  
> tumblr @ weatheredlaw


End file.
